Sunday, November 14, 2010

Next week I'll be "re-joining" class. Re-joining as in at least being on the other side of the bench. I never thought that having to sit and watch everyone would be such a soul-draining experience. At times I wanted to jump that little wall and start throwing thrust kicks, but in my heart I knew I wouldn't even be able to make it over the wall. I just need to start small, and I know that just being surrounded by everyone's energy will make a big difference in my recovery.

On another note, I'm terrified of having another PE. Every day I think "Is this going to be the day that it happens again?". It is mentally draining and I'm now having panic attacks because of the anxiety. For the first time in my life deep breathing does not seem to help. Sifu Brinker reminded me of the pressure point between the thumb and index finger. Does anyone have other suggestions? I'm tempted to ask my doctor for Ativan but I know I should try alternate methods first.

Sihing Karissa Martin
Silent River Kung Fu
Stony Plain, AB

2 comments:

  1. I used to wake up in the middle of the night having anxiety attacks, and I always have a rational conversation with myself to calm down. I say out loud what I'm worried about, and then out loud I will say what I'm going to do about it, or if I can't do anything about it then saying it out loud seems to put my mind at ease. I think you are so brave, it must be hard to worry about having the same thing happen to you again, but it sounds like your doing all the right things, maybe telling yourself that will help ease your mind.
    Andrea Prince

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  2. From all of the reading and studying of the subconscious mind that I have been doing, one message keeps coming up "what we focus on will show up." A suggestion may be to visualize what you want the event/class/workout to be: perfect. As you go to sleep at night, visualize perfect health and repeat the visualization as often as possible. The mind is a very powerful aspect.
    Good luck and I will put forward good heath thoughts for you as well.
    Sherri Donohue

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